Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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