Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
