I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
