Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My liver just had a heart attack.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
