I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
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