I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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