You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
