she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
