I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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