You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
