Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
