My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize