His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
