he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
