I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
