Sry I called you an 8
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
