...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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