If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize