yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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