you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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