You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
