Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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