I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
