If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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