I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
