I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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