Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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