Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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