Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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