i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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