i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
