I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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