Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
