I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
