Ambien. No doubt about it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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