my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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