Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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