So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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