Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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