My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it wasn't lemon gatorade
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
