so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
