just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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