Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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