just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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