I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
