how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
