Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
