so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
