Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
