your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
