Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize