The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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