I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
