I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
