I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
