That's intense
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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