i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
