I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
