I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize