I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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