So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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