is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
