Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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