What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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