Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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