Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
